Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry

"Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry

Sunshine on the water is so lovely

Sunshine almost always makes me high.

If I had a day that I could give you

I'd give to you a day just like today

If I had a song that I could sing for you

I'd sing a song to make you feel this way

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry

Sunshine on the water is so lovely

Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a tale that I could tell you

I'd tell a tale sure to make you smile

If I had a wish that I could wish for you

I'd make a wish for sunshine all the while

Sunshine on my Shoulders John Denver
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9Gh6dn7hzQ&sns=em

Another haunting melody, wistful, beautiful, surreal. This song will resurface in future posts because nearly every line holds a memory, a thought, a link to someone special.

I said in one of the earlier posts that I decided to deliberately think about death every morning. The aim is not to not fight or prevent death from ever happening to me. The Leveller comes to all. The aim is to savour every precious moment God gives, not to squander them in anger or affront, or crush them under the weight of fear or bitterness. I decided to make every moment a Kodak Moment.

Every Kodak Moment is sunshine in my life. Photos of our family are like sunshine in the tropics - in my eyes making me cry. Usually I cry because I am so thankful to the Father in Heaven for the gifts of husband  and children; sometimes because I wish I had taken things slowly and appreciated those times more. Our grand-daughter is like sunshine on our shoulders. She makes us happy by just being. And all that she says, does and observes are icing on the cake. We’re so looking forward to God’s gifts of children to all our children so that they may also experience this special sunshine in their lives.

Worry? We had a lot in our time and situations occur in every life that tempt one to worry. I prefer to refer to these as issues not problems or challenges because for me an issue can be settled without the intimidation that problems or challenges bring. Just semantics you say? No. Just calling it as it is. My God is in control and calling something an issue reminds me and those around me that while we have to apply our minds and effort to the settling of the issue, there’s no need to worry because God has it worked out. He is my Light- always makes me high.

For today and  every day

“If I had a wish that I could wish for you

I'd make a wish for sunshine all the while“

Nature or Nurture?

Walk Tall by Val Doonican

“Walk Tall walk straight and look the world right in the eye 

That’s what my mama told me

When I was about knee high

She said ‘Son be a proud man and hold your head up high”

Walk Tall walk straight and look the world right in the eye “

Excellent advice from a Mother to her son but how much can parents influence their children?

Many have commented on my “ positive” attitude since they learnt that I had been diagnosed with cancer.  Some think it’s in my genes. Hmmm, well Dad wasn’t (ostensibly anyway) a worrier. If he did have concerns he kept them to himself. He was generally calm and we seldom saw him angry. “Extremely annoyed” was probably the extent of any ill-temper he might have felt. A frown and pursed lips for a moment and then the calm returned.

 His elder sister, my Aunty Carmen, had a very positive attitude to life and I learnt a lot from her even though we lived in different countries. I asked her once how she kept on an even keel, never appearing to lose her equanimity. She said, “If I can’t do anything about it, I just don’t let it bother me, see?”. Like Dad, she might have frowned for a moment and perhaps given a shake of the head and that was it.

My mum taught me to be stoic. Even as a child, I remember that when I encountered pain she’d say quietly “ say to Jesus ‘ all for Thee, O my Lord, O my Jesus, all for Thee’. He take your pain.” Well I’ve prayed that prayer every time I felt or even anticipated feeling pain. Mum was right😃God does take away the pain. 

My husband says I have a high pain threshold. I’ve written in earlier posts that I felt no pain at all through and after surgery and through chemotherapy  and radiation. I think God has given me the gift of joy that is my strength. My genes play a part but Mum’s advice to her little girl still works as my Healer hears and answers prayers

So, nature or nurture? What do you think?

Walk Tall by Val Doonican (1964)

https://youtu.be/2_t-GC3HJSA

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother

“He ain’t heavy, he’s my Brother”

On June 21 2017 I was told matter-of-factly by my doctor that I had breast cancer and she advised surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and hormone therapy. I’ve described elsewhere how I came to the decision to go with the “ happy meal” combo of chemotherapy , radiation and hormone therapy after prayer and talking with my husband Richard, children, Colin and two good friends.

Colin ( my only brother) suggested I start a blog to record my journey through cancer. I started after diagnosis but stopped in October 2017 because I changed to manual recording. I found it easier to write into a book than type even into my phone. 

On November 22 2017 Colin was told that he had stage 4 Lung Cancer. This diagnosis was accompanied with the downright frightening news that there was no treatment open to him.

Shortly after that he was told that the initial diagnosis was inaccurate and, praise the Lord, chemotherapy was an option. God truly is in control.

This blog post is about how I watched my brother face the totally unexpected diagnosis that would have crushed a lesser being. Shocked yes but he is one who would not go quietly into the night.  He went through his chemotherapy and, at the end of it, went on a looooong cruise with Geraldine, his wife of 30 years. After that he began a course of immunotherapy. Now, praise the Lord, he’s training for a Triathalon in November this year! Has the cancer gone? Not totally. But that’s not the point. The point is Colin does not allow cancer to rule his mind and, through fear, alter his perspective of and attitude towards life. Colin is LIVING his life on his terms and I totally admire him for that.

God allowed us a fabulously wonderful 10 days in June this year when our whole family from Singapore visited him in Melbourne.

Colin gave me wholehearted, daily support from the time the doctors told me I had cancer. And he has mine. I’m so proud of my lil brother. I have faith in our God that we’ll both be clear of cancer in His time.

This song has been one of my favourites since I was 14 years old. The words have a far deeper meaning now and I know Colin feels the same. We are both blessed with loving spouses and children but just as there are jokes that only the two of us laugh at that no-one else understands, this is something that only a brother and sister facing their own giants can share. 

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother - The Hollies

https://youtu.be/oT57tjz9py8