If I should ever walk in the Valley of Darkness

every girl in CHIJ Victoria Street in the 1970s will remember this hymn. Based on Ps 23 we sang it at Assembly at least once a week. It was just a song to me until Dr Benita Tan told me after surgery on 28 June 2017 that as they did the mastectomy on my right breast the preliminary tests on the lymph nodes indicated that they too were cancerous and 22 lymph nodes were removed in the same surgery.. I was told of this possibility and accepted it in my head as being just that - a possibility.

Well, head knowledge of the possibility of a spread and having the realisation that 22 nodes were removed because 3 were infected are two entirely different things. Dr Benita was calm and matter-of-fact and that helped. But as soon as she left my bed I felt tears start in my eyes. Richard was there with me, holding my hand. He saw the flash of fear. He squeezed my hand and said quietly," Remember? God is in control."

The Holy Spirit brought to mind this song and at once my heart was at rest. This was the chorus

If I should ever walk in the valley of darkness
No evil would I fear, You are there to show the way
If I should ever walk in the valley of darkness
Your crook and Your staff, they will lead me to the Day

I wanted to be honest and open with the family about my fears and how God helps me through. All 5 boys came to visit. (Maria Rocky n Gwen were in Paris as Maria had to present at a conference. She suggested twice that she cancel the trip but I saw no reason to allow cancer to disrupt our lives so told her to please go ahead which she did reluctantly)


 I was puking / retching through the half hour they were there but it so helped me to hear them joke and laugh and I managed to laugh too. Almost as soon as they left I fell asleep with Nat still by my bedside. When the nurse woke me at 2am all nausea and lightheadedness had totally left. Absolutely no pain

At 2am I sent a message to the family telling them that there was no more nausea and no pain and added this

When i heard the cancer had gotten into the lymph nodes I was a little bit scared at first but papa reminded me that God is in control. And so He is. He directed early detection of this. So am at peace again .


And I was. No evil would I fear